Post-apocalypse – wish-list for the new world

ApocalypseSUNSET/Rex Features
By Simon Hetherington

Hopefully it is not premature to say so, but it does rather look as if we will not be undergoing the threatened apocalypse. Not even a little one.

I had been wondering whether, if the feared catastrophe were to fall short of total annihilation, we might find ourselves (well, some of us would) in the sort of post-apocalyptic world depicted in numerous movies – the sort of world in which the remnants of mankind pick themselves up, dust themselves off and set about restoring order from the chaos. Now, as we know, good order requires the rule of law, but where to start? What do you think should be the first law to get things moving back in the direction of a civilised society? A few things come to mind – things that we’re too frightened to tackle properly now, but in the brave new world we might just take on.

  • I would like to think that we might learn from the last several millennia, and ensure that education is equally available to all.
  • A system of press self-regulation that involves the press regulating itself.
  • London to host the first post-apocalypse Olympics, which will not include golf.
  • A rational limit to the number of antique or property-based reality television programmes to be aired in any one week.
  • A statutory definition of the term “banker’s bonus”.
  • The compulsory use of goal-line technology (or equivalent) in all sports.
  • Possibly something to prevent the evolution of talking apes – they don’t spell good news for humanity.

I don’t think I have missed anything. But since we’re going to make it through the night, I think this will remain a wish-list.

It does, however, mean that Halsbury’s Law Exchange can wish you the compliments of the season, confident that you will be around to receive them.

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